I hate national elections. I know, I should be awash with the fuzzy glow of patriotism, grateful I can play a part in selecting our country's leadership. But I'm not. Thank goodness it happens only once every four years.

Political ads drive me nuts. Instead of my favorite commercials, the airwaves are filled with politicians doing their best sincere impression and making promises we both know they won't keep.

There is more B.S. in prime time than the Tuesday morning auction at our local cattleman's association.

The different political philosophies are confusing. For example: Religious conservatives believe people, at their core, are bad. Thus, we need to minimize government oversight and regulation, depending on bad people to do the right thing.

Liberals, on the other hand, believe people are basically good. They want more government oversight and regulation so good people won't do anything bad. Somewhere these folks got their wires crossed.
Iraq is a mess. Republicans want to keep doing what hasn't worked. Democrats want to do nothing and just leave. In the meantime, our soldiers keep dying, the Iraqi people are cannon fodder for jihad and our enemies are increasingly galvanized to destroy us.

Perhaps the best solution is to send the politicians to Iraq and bring our soldiers home.

Then there's the economy. Republicans cut taxes and spend more. Democrats raise taxes and spend more. Our economy is driven by consumption and prudence has become the enemy of economic growth. Yet, none of the candidates is willing to propose the sacrifices needed to right our financial ship. Where is Ross Perot when you need him?

On the upside, the diversity of the candidates is unprecedented. Democrats have a young black man and a middle-aged white woman while Republicans have an old white guy and a Southern Baptist preacher. All we need is a mixed-race, bisexual atheist to run as an independent and the card would be complete.

I am going to vote. It's just the right thing to do. The hard thing about voting is enduring the Romper Room-like spectacle leading up to Election Day and somehow deciding who to vote for.

A story I heard sums up by dilemma: A man was walking down a rural road. In a field near the road was a huge pile of horse manure. In the middle of the pile a farmer was digging with both hands. His interest piqued, the man walked over to the farmer tapped him on the shoulder and asked: "What are you doing?"

Startled, the farmer turned and without missing a beat said: "There's got to be a horse in here somewhere!"

Marvin Bittinger
Gainesville