Ironically, the piece of furniture we lean on the most — physically and emotionally — gets the least amount of our attention and interior design resources.

"As soon as you look in the room, you want the bed to be the focal point," said interior designer Danie Dunn, owner of Danie Dunn Designs in Kansas City. "People spend more money on their kitchen and don’t even know how to cook. Your bedroom should be your most important priority."

Sure, it’s important that your bed fit the room and your body. But beyond all practical considerations, a bed is the one furnishing in your home that needs to be, well, fabulous.

"You want it luxurious," Dunn said. "You want that at-home-in-your-castle feeling. You’re the queen."

For Janet Rose of Fairway, Kan., a great-looking bed meant not big and clunky. The brand and market strategist opted for an Italian-made platform bed covered in white pony skin. "It has gorgeous sleek lines," Rose said. "The white is all about luxury; it’s full of endless possibilities."

Rose, who is single and has a grown daughter, relishes her bed as a private space. "My ultimate idea of luxury is sleeping alone. I’m like a lion — I like to come home to my own private den."

For fans of traditional style, a curvy sleigh bed sets the heart racing, but women favor it more than men, according to designers.

Even more feminine is the canopy. "I like a canopy. There’s some glamour there, if it doesn’t look like you’re 16," Dunn said. To avoid a juvenile look, she advises using damask, antique velvet and silks rather than ruffled cotton bedding.

A tufted headboard is comfy for couples who like to sit up in bed. It also works well in a small room because it blends in with the wall better than a wood headboard, Dunn said.

Brass and iron beds appeal to both sexes. "Men love that old-looking, heavy handcrafting and women love them because they have a feminine quality," said Debbie Dusenberry, owner of Curious Sofa in Prairie Village, Kan.

Low, mod beds offer a different perspective, literally. John O’Connell has a vintage French white-and-chrome bed from the ’70s that floats low to the ground next to a bank of floor-to-ceiling windows in his loft bedroom. "The view when I’m lying in bed is amazing," O’Connell said. He also likes the view of the bed: "It’s classic modern design, and the chrome gives it some pizzazz."

Because O’Connell’s job as business development manager for an international company involves a lot of travel, comfort is also key. So he invested in an expensive visco-elastic foam mattress. "I enjoy a very good night’s sleep," he said.

On any bed, the decadent softness of fine sheets enhances the lounging and sleeping experience. Rose splurged on silky cotton sheets from a luxury bedding boutique for the way they feel against the skin more than for the design.

Bedding colors are also important. "A bedroom has to be seductive," Dunn said. "Flesh tones like peach and salmon are sexy, because they look like skin."

When two people share a bed, the style of the bed and the bedding should feel welcoming and comforting to both, Dusenberry said.

"Men’s biggest fear is flowers," she said. "Flowers on bedding is like leading a man to torture. The floral needs to be on a chair or in the guest room — let that be your "girly room."

But if you love flowers, Dusenberry said there are three kinds of floral motifs that aren’t nightmarish to guys: "Black-and-white, botanical motifs and paisleys are a great way to add that feminine touch without being over the top."

Because it is not public, the bedroom can afford to be theatrical, like a movie set, Dunn said. So play it up. "Frame the bed. Put two lovely lamps on the nightstands and a small loveseat at the end of the bed with a cocktail table in front," she said.