My fellow Americans, it is with heavy heart that I announce to you today that I will not be a candidate for president of the United States in 2016. I know there are those among you who believe our country would be better off if I was running things. Of course, there are also those among you who think our country would be better off if I stuck my head in a pickle vat.
Dick Yarbrough: They'll have to run the 2016 race without me