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If Mayans are right, dont plan Christmas
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I don’t subscribe to the Mayan calendar, but for those who do, we have fewer than three weeks before the whole world comes to an end on Dec. 21.

I am writing this before the Southeastern Conference championship game is played. I don’t know if the Dawgs or the Tide will win. Neither will get their chance with Notre Dame.

If the Mayans are right, the final bowl game will be the Poinsettia Bowl in San Diego. It will feature BYU against San Diego State. Really, the final game will depend on what time the world ends on Dec. 21. If it is late at night, we may get to see the Beef O’Brady Bowl in St. Petersburg, Fla. The Mayan gods may spare us from that one.

Last year, there was a preacher who was predicting when Jesus would come back. He predicted May 21, 2011. To the best of my knowledge, this didn’t work out.

There have been folks predicting the return of Christ since 400 A.D.

Christopher Columbus, discoverer of the New World, predicted Jesus would come back in 1672. He also thought he landed in the East Indies.

If I really thought the world was coming to an end in three weeks, I don’t know what I would do.

I would not renew any magazine subscriptions (or would postdate my checks to Dec. 22).

I might buy a time-share condo on a beach with the stipulation that the first payment was due in January, but I could move-in right away. I hope they don’t make me sit through one of those time-share presentations. That’s 90 minutes I can’t spare in Mayan time.

The Mayans did not go much further than Central America. Now, the British were different; they had places they claimed for the crown all over the globe. They are still hanging on to a few of them.

I’ve always wondered what Queen Elizabeth has in that pocketbook she carries around. I bet there’s a little note about when the world comes to an end, or when her oldest boy, Charlie, becomes king. Those may be the same day.

Quite frankly, I don’t think we fare too well in predicting the end of things. I once worked at a news organization where we constantly had little office pools as to when things would happen. It was about three years after I left that I won one. I had guessed when a woman on life support would die. I still feel bad about that.

I don’t know who figured out the code on the Mayan calendar, but I feel reasonably confident that I will be here on Dec. 22 and Santa Claus will make his trip around the world a couple of days after that.

As to folks who make predictions about the return of Jesus, every generation has pointed to something as a sure sign that the Lord will be back any day. There are a lot of TV preachers who have made all kind of predictions about this in hopes of either gaining more viewers or raising more money. My bet would be on the latter.

So if you find yourself watching the Beef O’Brady Bowl and your TV goes out, I think you’re safe in assuming it is the TV and not a Mayan prediction coming true.

Harris Blackwood is a Gainesville resident whose columns appear on the Sunday Life page and on gainesvilletimes.com/harris.

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