I came along behind Chloe and swept her up into my arms. She looked at me with a surprised expression on her face and said, "Daddy, you're strong!"

"Yes," I said with a grin, "I sure am."

"I'm not as strong as you are," she said, her voice downcast.

"No, you're not. But do you know what that means? It means that I will be strong for you."

She giggled and buried her head into my chest, accepting what I'd just said.

Suddenly, in my mind, it was no longer me holding Chloe and telling her I'd be strong for her - it was me resting in the arms of my heavenly father as he said those same words to me.

As a pastor, I've sat with many families as they've grieved the passing of a loved one. Every once in a while, I'll hear a very well-intentioned person give them very bad advice.

This person will come up to a family member and say, "I know it's hard, but you have to be strong right now for your family."

The reason I say this is bad advice is because it runs contrary to what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12.

As Paul relates his own personal experience, he mentions a "thorn in the flesh" (verse 7). Biblical scholars have debated what this thorn in the flesh might be. Some think it might have been religious persecution, while others think it might have been poor eyesight or some other type of physical malady. Regardless of what it was, Paul credits Satan with its origin.

On three separate occasions (verse 8), Paul "pleaded" with God and asked him to remove it. God's response, however, was that his grace was sufficient for Paul - that his (God's) power was made perfect in (Paul's) weakness (verse 9).

So when this person tells the family member to be strong, he (or she) is telling them to do something that will ultimately cause them to miss out on both the grace and the power that God wants to grant them during their time of loss.

Maybe you feel like you need some of that grace and power right now. Maybe you're trying to be strong, but nothing you're doing seems to be working.

Can I give you some advice?

Quit.

Quit trying to be strong in your own strength and just be weak. Ask your heavenly father to be your strength, instead. He will be strong for you and will grant you his grace and power to help you through your struggles.

Parrish Myers is a local minister. His column appears biweekly in Sunday Life and on gainesvilletimes.com/life.