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- Sunday, May 19, 2013 Gainesville, Georgia
Archive By Section - Mitch Clarke's column
Third time's the charm in search for perfect tree
By now, you probably have gotten your Christmas tree. And by "gotten," I mean you've gone to one of the lots around town where they sell live Christmas trees. Or maybe you were particularly moved by the Christmas spirit and went to a Christmas tree farm, where you got to pick out and cut down the tree of your choice.
Joe gives us average folks a chance to be heard
The biggest news to come out of the last presidential debate was that Joe the Plumber got more on-air mentions than either Bush the Lame Duck or Ayers the Terrorist, so it wasn't surprising to see Joe the Plumber being interviewed the next day by Katie the Network News Anchor. Joe the Plumber was so popular during the debate that he was mentioned four times more often than the war in Iraq, which is interesting ...
Some folks are just dying to get a face lift
I have no doubt that Americans are obsessed with beauty. We want to look and feel young. And we're willing to do just about anything to achieve this. Statistics show that cosmetic surgery is at an all-time high. We spend good money having things that are wrinkled stretched, things that have fallen lifted and things that have sagged boosted.
Making sense (or cents) in today's stock market
I hope today that I can help ease your minds about the fragile state of our country's economy. Don't laugh. I'm quite the expert on all matters economic, and I have the portfolio to prove it. I was treasurer of the Beta Club in high school. Once I balanced my checkbook without bothering to use a calculator. And ever so often, I pick up a copy of The Wall Street Journal.
Can a smile be contagious? Maybe, but so is a frown
Smile and the world smiles with you. It seems unlikely that anyone would question the inherent wisdom behind that statement, because we've all seen it in action. If you smile at someone, even a stranger, they more than likely will smile back. But now we have scientific proof. A paper published last week in a British medical journal concludes that smiling is contagious and that the transfer of happiness ...
Y'all don't worry about the way she 'toks'
I'm surprised it took as long as it did for someone to make an issue of Sarah Palin's accent. During Thursday night's vice presidential debate, Palin paraphrased an old expression, saying "you walk the walk; you don't just talk the talk." But because she's from Alaska and because she has an accent one might expect from someone who's from Alaska, it came out sounding differently. "You wok the wok; you don't just tok the tok." ...
The other Mitches: A baker, a poet, a Mullet Machine
One of my cousins told me over Thanksgiving that she kept up with what's happening in my life by googling me, which sounds like something dirty that cousins shouldn't be doing to each other. What it really means, of course, is that she goes to the Google Web page and types "Mitch Clarke" into the search window.
Mr. Red could help us during this financial crisis
My mother was a big fan of fresh air, and she believed children should be outside in it. I don't know if she believed more in the positive health benefits of us breathing fresh air or the fact that with us outside, she could finally enjoy a little peace and quiet. But there we were, out in the front yard, left to our own devices. This, of course, was in the days before kids could ...
Joy of anticipation is lost in our 24/7 world
I have always believed that the Christmas season officially begins when Santa Claus makes his triumphant appearance in Herald Square at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Munson's retirement is the end of an era
First Uga dies. Now Larry Munson says he's retiring. How much more heartbreak can Georgia fans endure?
Don’t be fooled: ‘Dry heat’ is still dang hot
TEMPE, Ariz. -- We caught a break. They're having a cool snap here. The high temperature Saturday was only 101 degrees.
No special water for Glory; the toilet works just fine
It's probably not one of the signs of the apocalypse, but it does prove the old P.T. Barnum saying that there's a sucker born every minute. Apparently now you can buy bottled water for your dog. I discovered this quite by accident while I was searching for something else on the Internet.
There’s no reason to be proud of your ‘abundance’
There was bad news in the papers last week for people of abundance. People of abundance, of course, is the politically correct term for what the rest of us call fat.
Fanning the flames of old-time memories
The air conditioner was on the blink in the church sanctuary last Sunday, and the preacher told the men they could take off their suit coats and loosen their ties, if they'd like, which many of us did. He also told the women they could take off and loosen anything they felt comfortable taking off and loosening in church, which drew quite a bit of laughter from the congregation. I didn't think it was that ...
Make some changes so the conventions are watchable
The Democrats ended their lovefest on Thursday night, and starting tomorrow, the Republicans take center stage with a four-day infomercial of their own. There wasn't much excitement last week - and probably won't be much next week - in these highly scripted, made-for-TV events. It makes me long for the days when the national political conventions were great civics lessons that really let the American people learn about how their government works.
Articles by Section - Mitch Clarke's column
Even battered and bruised, America will always stand tall
Mere minutes after a teenage terrorist had been captured, Bostonians poured into the streets and cheered – cheered! – the police and firefighters who had ended the terror.
Grab your wallets, the tax man cometh
The government has been getting its grubby little paws into your paycheck every two weeks for the last year, and now it's ready for you to give more.
Man's best friend made a lasting impression
I often get asked how Glory, the black and white springer spaniel who lives at my house, and I got together.
My column today comes without any side effects
I sometimes have a hard time sleeping, so I do what a lot of people suffering from insomnia do. I turn on the TV.
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