I have two white stars on my right forearm - not tattoos, scars.
"Dewey defeats Truman." Maybe you've seen the famous photograph of the newspaper with the headline being held by newly re-elected President Truman.
Twice. Twice in the last week I've seen an animal come in for a problem that could have been treated six months before.
I use drugs. Wait, that sounds bad. I use drugs, professionally. No, that sounds worse.
When people start a sentence with "No offense," they usually know they're going to offend you. Sometimes they don't care, sometimes they do and are just saying what needs to be said.
The bad news: You have cancer.
Since Halloween is right around the corner, consider the following:
Today, I am 39 years old. About six years younger than my father was when he died from colon cancer.
My dream car is KITT from the 1980s television show "Knightrider." Of course.
With my inherent geekiness, I can't resist learning things. I actively seek out learning of any kind: veterinary medicine, quantum theory and fantasy football.
Hopefully you don't get bogged down in the literary reference, but I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. Specifically Caesar Millan, the well-known "Dog Whisperer."
I have a friend who is an EMT, and when we get into conversations about the state of the world today, he often opines a theory about why we have so many dumb people today: Helmet laws keep nature from picking off the idiots when we're young.
I may be too old for the spinning apples. I rode them with my son at a fair recently, and when we got off, I was ready to be put out of my misery.
What does Willie Nelson know about bone cancer in greyhounds?
Your pet's mouth is full of bacteria. Just like yours.
When I was about 12, Jake "the Snake" Roberts was a scary, scary man. His finishing move, the DDT, was the most devastating maneuver in professional wrestling. He would tuck your neck under his arm, then drive your forehead into the mat.
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