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- Sunday, May 19, 2013 Gainesville, Georgia
Archive By Author - Mitch Clarke
Bulldog fan plots a path to the national championship
I am unabashedly a Georgia Bulldog. I bleed red and black. I believe that if you lead a good life, when you die you go to Vince Dooley's house.
It was no treat when Glory chose to eat a pencil
I have always claimed that Glory, the black and white springer spaniel who lives at my house, would eat just about anything, especially if I made her think it was a treat. There are, of course, a few things it makes sense that a dog would attempt to eat. A dog shall not live by Dog Chow alone, I suppose.
Don’t be a sesquipedalian, but use your words wisely
I like to learn new words. As someone who has to come up with about 650 of them each Sunday morning, it helps to learn new words so that you good readers don't have to keep reading the same old ones every week. Learning new words also makes me feel smarter than I am, and it impresses people who are certainly smarter than I am.
What would Jesus say about having his name in lights?
My church is erecting a new sign with one of those fancy, electronic message boards on it. The idea here is that we'll be able to tell passersby when, say, the men's Bible study class meets, what the preacher's Sunday sermon is about or when Vacation Bible School starts. At first, I admittedly wasn't crazy about the idea. I didn't want my church to look like the Howard Johnson's out on the interstate.
Breaking your word these days can put a hole in your wallet
I'm reasonably convinced that people across the nation who follow the news must think Northeast Georgia is the wacky bride capital of the world. First, there was the so-called "Runaway Bride." She vanished for several days, finally calling home to say she had been kidnapped and taken to Albuquerque. In reality she had run away from a fiancé she really didn't want to marry and the pressure the impending nuptials were putting on her.
Vintage TV jewel turns up on hip Web site
I don't like to be one of those folks who harks back to the good old days, as if the current days are somehow shameful or repugnant. I'm not even old enough to remember the good old days.
You can keep the thunder, the lightning and the flying monkeys
I don't want to appear ungrateful for the all the rain we've gotten this week. I know we need every drop we can get, and I'm happy every time I see a dark cloud on the horizon. But if it's just the same to you, I can live without the accompanying light show that has been a part of this week's storms. The lightning, the thunder, the wind, you can keep it all.
‘Batteries not included’ has started a bad new trend
I learned something new this week. Major household appliances - such as a dryer, for instance - don't come with power cords. You have to buy them separately. It's been years since I bought a major appliance, so this was news to me. I inherited a washer and dryer from an aunt years ago, and, although I had to replace the washer about nine years ago, the dryer has continued to work flawlessly.
Mourning the loss of Georgia's top dawg
Uga VI is dead, and I don't feel so good myself. I had to paraphrase that line from Lewis Grizzard because, well, it pretty accurately describes how I feel as I write this Saturday afternoon.
Slow down and celebrate device that keeps cruisin’ under control
Fifty years ago, Chrysler first installed in its Imperial model a device that automatically controlled the car's rate of motion, and thus, the cruise control was born.
Redneck remarks just don’t get me hot under the collar anymore
NBC's Andrea Mitchell got herself in a little hot water last week during coverage of Barack Obama's campaign swing through Bristol, a city in southwestern Virginia. In an on-air conversation with another network correspondent, Mitchell referred to the region as being "redneck."
A day of lying around the lanai (that’s a porch to us regular folks)
PANAMA CITY BEACH, Fla. -- I'm at the beach for a conference this week. It's the kind of weather you'd hope for on a beach trip. Beautiful blue skies, warm temperatures, nice sea breeze.
What comes of not being able to go?
I've been worried to death this week about the astronauts - actually, two cosmonauts and one astronaut - aboard the International Space Station, what with the news that the toilet onboard isn't working. Worse, they say it'll be sometime next week - after the shuttle Discovery arrives with a spare pump - before the toilet is working again.
Ten years since I found man's best friend
Ten years. It's hard to believe it's been that long. I had wanted an all-white English bulldog. I've been a University of Georgia fan my whole life, and I liked the thought of having my own Uga around the house.
Be a sweetie and read my column
The recent flap over Sen. Barack Obama calling a female reporter "sweetie" predictably has set off a national debate among the talking heads on the 24-hour news channels over what is acceptable language between men and women. In case you missed it, a reporter at a campaign stop in Detroit asked Obama what he planned to do to help the American auto worker.
Articles By Author - Mitch Clarke
Even battered and bruised, America will always stand tall
Mere minutes after a teenage terrorist had been captured, Bostonians poured into the streets and cheered – cheered! – the police and firefighters who had ended the terror.
Grab your wallets, the tax man cometh
The government has been getting its grubby little paws into your paycheck every two weeks for the last year, and now it's ready for you to give more.
Man's best friend made a lasting impression
I often get asked how Glory, the black and white springer spaniel who lives at my house, and I got together.
My column today comes without any side effects
I sometimes have a hard time sleeping, so I do what a lot of people suffering from insomnia do. I turn on the TV.
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