Bummer. I just learned that I did not win the Nobel Peace Prize again this year. This is getting old. I was so confident this time that I had my tuxedo pressed and new laces put in my Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star high-top sneakers.
After a friend told me she had waited 3« hours recently to get her Georgia driver's license renewed and then had to deal with a clerk that could have passed for a robot - and an unhelpful one, at that - I thought this to be a typical example of a bunch of government bureaucrats who don't care because they don't have to. Where else are we going to go to get our driver's licenses renewed? Burger King?
Despite the rants of publicity-seeking bigots, the blather of Twitter twits and a national news media more interested in scooping the competition than in accurate reporting, the fact is that our American system of justice presumes one is innocent until proven guilty.
It looks like our legislators are about to lose one of their most cherished perks: free football tickets. Bless their hearts.
Dear Syrian rebels: I thought I'd take a minute to correspond with you as you resume your efforts to overthrow Syrian dictator Bashar Assad. You are no doubt disappointed that the United States government chose not to come to your aid as promised. There is a good reason and that is my purpose in writing you. Although I am not an official of the United States government, I am part of a group known as We the Unwashed. Put the blame squarely on us.
It is flattering to have readers tell me I should run for public office. There are also an equal number of adoring fans that say I should stick my head in a bucket of tar. But that is a topic for another day.
Rats! As if creating this profound and pithy prose each week wasn't hard enough, now I have discovered a legislator with a sense of humor. The apocalypse is upon us.
Please indulge me a moment of introspection and feel free to think along with me. Chances are what I am going to say may apply to you as well.
If public education in Georgia doesn't have enough problems, there is now a high-profile ruckus between Gov. Nathan Deal and State School Superintendent Dr. John Barge. It has gotten so peevish that there is talk that the school superintendent may challenge Deal in the Republican gubernatorial primary next spring.
You may have read that the U.S. Supreme Court is going to hear a case about whether or not prayer can be uttered in town councils across America. Last year, a federal appeals court ruled that such a nefarious deed violated the First Amendment's ban on an "establishment of religion."
Dear public school teachers:
I read recently in the Atlanta newspaper that our intrepid public servants just keep on going - on trips, that is.
This month, I begin my 16th year as a syndicated newspaper columnist in Georgia. Time flies when you are having fun and I am having a ball. I hope you are, too.
After much posturing, the General Assembly passed a sleeves-out-of-their-vest piece of legislation on lobbying reform in the last session and wants us to believe they have answered our concerns.
There is no way I could produce such pithy and thought-provoking essays each week without the help of my columnist commandos. These folks are my private information-gathering experts. They can go anywhere and find out anything. They are the masters of disguise.
Remember the story of "The Little Engine That Could?" That could well describe the city of Dalton, a town of some 34,000 nestled in the corner of Northwest Georgia not far from the Tennessee line.
Can it be? Is it September already? One of my favorite tunes, "September Song," was written by Kurt Weill and Maxwell Anderson for a Broadway musical in 1938 called "Knickerbocker Holiday." The lyrics could apply today to the current political season in Georgia - "For it's a long, long time from May to December, but the days grow short when you reach September."
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