If our nation is really in trouble, if it’s really “going to hell in a hand-basket” as some say, it isn’t the fault of any other nation, or of a global organization like al-Qaida. It isn’t the fault of President Barack Obama, or the media, immigrants, terrorists or Islam. It’s the fault of the American people, you and me!

We have forgotten what it means to be civilized. Civilization depends on a certain degree of trust and cooperation. These are the characteristics that brought us out of barbarism and built society as we know it today.

Trust and cooperation are the basis of economic exchange, the basis of domestic harmony and of public intercourse. We trust our checks and credit cards to be honored. We trust our neighbors not dig up the plants in our front yard or steal the deck chairs in the back. We trust automobile owners to see that their brakes work and to drive on the right side of the road. We trust the grocery and meat market to sell us food that is safe to eat. And should any of these trusts be broken, we trust the authorities to step in and make it right.

So far, these values and norms are still being followed, but the level of general distrust in the nation today is growing daily. Distrust in government — our own government — is rampant. Why? The country has gone through contested elections before, but the office of president was held in respect, even by individuals who opposed the man who held it.

I’m old enough to remember when Frankin D. Roosevelt was elected for a forth term. My father, a stanch Republican who had voted for Wendell Willkie, announced through gritted teeth, “You better pray that Roosevelt lives, because if he dies in office, that idiot Truman will become President, and the nation will be even greater trouble than it is now.”

Of course, Roosevelt did die in office and Harry Truman did become president. The nation, Republicans included, rallied behind him, and the U.S. went on to become the strongest, most respected country in the world.

The disrespect shown President Obama today demeans us all. We can disagree with him, but to vilify him as is so often done is an affront to the office he holds and to the majority of Americans.

I do not believe the nation is falling apart, but it faces some serious problems, problems that can’t and won’t be solved without cooperation, both within Congress and without. It’s the “without” that concerns me here. Our county has become divided. We have lost the ability to talk to one another.

Pick your issue: taxes, climate change, abortion, same-sex marriage, gun control. We need to talk, but it’s no good talking to people who agree with you. You have to reach out to those who don’t, and you have to do it with respect. You have to understand why a person holds a certain opinion before you can gain any headway with your own.

Right now the nation needs to talk about gun control. Why people are rushing out to buy more and ever more guns. Why are they so afraid and angry?

To make things clear from the beginning, my husband and I are gun owners. We inherited a couple of fine weapons and keep them in good firing condition. Furthermore, my father taught me to shoot. I was on the rife team in high school and won an award for marksmanship. I am not some wild-eyed anti-gun activist.

On the other hand, I am deeply concerned about the prevalence of guns in society today. The answer to the repeated tragedies in our schools and on our streets can’t be more guns in the hands of more people.

If the goal is to protect our families and communities, that where the discussion has to start. Who will volunteer?

Joan King lives in Sautee. Her column appears biweekly on Tuesdays and at gainesvilletimes.com/viewpoint.