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Loosening the noose around my neck

POSTED: June 24, 2012 12:30 a.m.

A few months ago, I made an important decision. It was actually a subconscious decision that I didn’t completely realize I had made until several weeks later. But it was important nonetheless.

I decided to stop wearing neckties.

I’ve never been a huge fan of ties. But they are a necessarily evil for most men, though most men will tell you that putting on a tie is like putting a noose around your neck, and who really wants a noose around their neck all day?

I certainly never did. But I gave in to tradition.

For most of the time I was a reporter in Macon, for most of the time I worked at Georgia College, for most of the time I worked here, I have put on a tie to wear to work.

I didn’t realize, though, how accustomed my staff must have become to my open-collared look until a week or so ago when I wore a tie to work because I had to attend a fancy banquet right after work.

“You’re wearing a tie,” one of the reporters said. “Is everything OK? Did someone die?”

The decision to stop wearing ties wasn’t an intentional one. One morning, as I got dressed, I thought, “I really don’t want to put that noose around my neck today.” So I went open collared.

Since no one said anything to me about not wearing a tie, I made the same decision the next morning. Before long, there wasn’t even a decision to be made. I just went tieless.

More and more, I’m becoming convinced that if the Good Lord had wanted men to wear ties, he would never have allowed Macy’s to sell them for $75.

I’ve never studied how ties became a part of men’s fashion. I remember one day years ago being particularly annoyed at a tie. I was sitting at my desk in the newsroom in Macon, and I kept fidgeting with my tie. It wasn't tied just right, and it was bothering me.

So I said to no one in particular, "It had to have been a woman who invented the tie. No self-respecting man would have ever done it."

A female reporter in the next cubicle chimed in.

"It was a woman," she said. "She did it in retaliation for the man who invented pantyhose.”

In time, though, ties may go the way of the dodo bird for all men. I see more and more professional men who are abandoning ties for open collars, and a surprising number of men are even showing up in the sanctuary on Sunday without ties.

Yet I’ll still wear a tie from time to time, when the occasion calls for it.

For instance, I’ll still wear a tie to church because I don’t know God’s position on the necktie. I know “Thy shalt not be required to wear a tie in church” didn’t make the top 10 Commandments, but I don’t know every verse of the Bible, so it could be in there somewhere. If it’s there, it’s probably in Deuteronomy.

Until I find it, though, I’ll wear a tie to church.

I’ll also wear a tie to your wedding. If the bride is going to pop for a couple hundred bucks for a dress, and the groom has to rent an expensive tuxedo, the least I can do is put on a tie.

If you die, I’ll wear a tie to your funeral, unless you decide to have a casual funeral. It’s a sign of respect, I think, to dress up in your finest clothes to pay respects to the dearly departed.

But I don’t know if I’ll wear a tie to my own funeral. Probably will depend on the weather.

Mitch Clarke is executive editor of The Times. His column appears Sundays. Read previous columns at gainesvilletimes.com/mitch. Follow him on Twitter @MitchTimes.

Jun. 23, 2012 04:10p.m. EDT Loosening the noose around my neck Gainesville Times

A few months ago, I made an important decision. It was actually a subconscious decision that I didn’t completely realize I had made until several weeks later. But it was important nonetheless.

I decided to stop wearing neckties.

I’ve never been a huge fan of ties. But they are a necessarily evil for most men, though most men will tell you that putting on a tie is like putting a noose around your neck, and who really wants a noose around their neck all day?

I certainly never did. But I gave in to tradition.

For most of the time I was a reporter in Macon, for most of the time I worked at Georgia College, for most of the time I worked here, I have put on a tie to wear to work.

I didn’t realize, though, how accustomed my staff must have become to my open-collared look until a week or so ago when I wore a tie to work because I had to attend a fancy banquet right after work.

“You’re wearing a tie,” one of the reporters said. “Is everything OK? Did someone die?”

The decision to stop wearing ties wasn’t an intentional one. One morning, as I got dressed, I thought, “I really don’t want to put that noose around my neck today.” So I went open collared.

Since no one said anything to me about not wearing a tie, I made the same decision the next morning. Before long, there wasn’t even a decision to be made. I just went tieless.

More and more, I’m becoming convinced that if the Good Lord had wanted men to wear ties, he would never have allowed Macy’s to sell them for $75.

I’ve never studied how ties became a part of men’s fashion. I remember one day years ago being particularly annoyed at a tie. I was sitting at my desk in the newsroom in Macon, and I kept fidgeting with my tie. It wasn't tied just right, and it was bothering me.

So I said to no one in particular, "It had to have been a woman who invented the tie. No self-respecting man would have ever done it."

A female reporter in the next cubicle chimed in.

"It was a woman," she said. "She did it in retaliation for the man who invented pantyhose.”

In time, though, ties may go the way of the dodo bird for all men. I see more and more professional men who are abandoning ties for open collars, and a surprising number of men are even showing up in the sanctuary on Sunday without ties.

Yet I’ll still wear a tie from time to time, when the occasion calls for it.

For instance, I’ll still wear a tie to church because I don’t know God’s position on the necktie. I know “Thy shalt not be required to wear a tie in church” didn’t make the top 10 Commandments, but I don’t know every verse of the Bible, so it could be in there somewhere. If it’s there, it’s probably in Deuteronomy.

Until I find it, though, I’ll wear a tie to church.

I’ll also wear a tie to your wedding. If the bride is going to pop for a couple hundred bucks for a dress, and the groom has to rent an expensive tuxedo, the least I can do is put on a tie.

If you die, I’ll wear a tie to your funeral, unless you decide to have a casual funeral. It’s a sign of respect, I think, to dress up in your finest clothes to pay respects to the dearly departed.

But I don’t know if I’ll wear a tie to my own funeral. Probably will depend on the weather.

Mitch Clarke is executive editor of The Times. His column appears Sundays. Read previous columns at gainesvilletimes.com/mitch. Follow him on Twitter @MitchTimes.

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