I was granted an exclusive telephone interview with Santa Claus last week.

Don't scoff. Interviews with the jolly old elf, especially this time of year, are hard to come by. Not only is this his busy time of the year, but other media outlets are vying for his time, as well. I understand the "Today" show and "Meet the Press" were also angling for interviews.

Of course, I've known Santa since I was a little boy. But this is the first time that I've ever had the opportunity to interview him. He picked up the phone promptly when I called.

"It's good to talk to you, my boy."

It's good to talk to you, too, Santa. We're just a week from Christmas now. How are things coming together at the North Pole?

"Things are right on schedule in the workshop. We have three elf crews working around the clock to put the finishing touches on all the toys, and we'll start loading the sleigh soon. It takes two or three days to get all the presents through security at the North Pole International Airport."

That's a lot of toys that have to be delivered on Christmas Eve. How do you manage to stay on track every year?

"Well, we have a pretty good system in place that we've honed over the years. It helps if we get a good tailwind. But we did have some challenges earlier this year, however."

What kind of challenges?

"We tried to outsource some of the toy making to China. Big mistake. Quality control issues, mainly. Plus the elves didn't appreciate the change."

Did they complain?

"Did they ever! One of the assembly line elves organized a protest against the outsourcing, and before you knew it, a full-fledged Occupy Santa's Workshop movement had begun."

What happened?

"Well, we were able to continue with most of our toy production until the reindeer stopped playing their games and joined the protest. That shut down our whole transportation sector. It was a mess. But we pulled out of the outsourcing effort and agreed to hire more elves. We'll be ready on Christmas Eve."

Are you planning a vacation after the big day?

"I'm taking a break right now to get ready for the big day. As I'm talking to you, I'm laying on the beach in Honolulu enjoying some sun."

How are you able to do that? There must be a million details you have to keep up with at the North Pole.

"Flying all around the world in one night is taxing, and I'm not as young as I used to be. So I want to be as rested as possible.

"But I keep up, thanks to technology. I use my iPhone to do video conferencing with the elf foreman and I also check email and keep tabs on my Facebook and Twitter pages. I used to keep my list of who's been naughty or nice in a big ol' book in my workshop. But now there's an app for that."

But how to you go about reading all the letters from children around the world?

"We don't get many letters through traditional mail anymore. It's all emails and text messages, which is nice. I can read all of those from my phone. I don't why in the world I ever chose to put my headquarters at the North Pole. It's so cold there."

Have you thought about relocating?

"Sure. But there are immigration issues involved. We considered moving to the deserts of Arizona, but some of my elves aren't American citizens and I'm not sure their paperwork is in order. Good elf labor is hard to find, so as long as they work hard, I don't ask questions."

Santa, I appreciate your time today. It's been an honor to talk with you. Is there anything else you'd like to say to our readers?

"Yes, I'd like to say, ‘Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.' ... Oh, and if you're leaving cookies out for me, I prefer oatmeal raisin."

Mitch Clarke is executive editor of The Times. His column appears Sundays. Read previous columns at gainesvilletimes.com/mitch. Follow him on Twitter @MitchTimes.