In case you missed it, a reporter at a campaign stop in Detroit asked Obama what he planned to do to help the American auto worker.

He responded, "Hold on a second, sweetie," and told her he would answer questions later.

It was not the first time during the campaign that Obama has used the word "sweetie" when talking with a female. He has said he meant no disrespect, that he has an unfortunate habit of using that term when he doesn't know someone's name.

On the one hand, we should all be thankful he used "sweetie." I've been a journalist long enough to know the names we are called are not always so affectionate.

People who call or write the newspaper aren't the least bit shy about sharing their opinions about us and using a variety of colorful words to describe us.

I've heard reporters called "biased" or "negative" or "inaccurate" or, my favorite, "liberal, bed-wetting communists."

We are also called uglier names that I refuse to print in the newspaper because my mother reads this column and I don't want her to know that some people use that kind of language to describe her son.

Calling someone "sweetie" isn't necessarily sexist or condescending, as anyone who's ever eaten at a Waffle House can attest. It can just as easily be a term of endearment, and usually the person using the term means no offense.

It no doubt happens to you several times a day, as it does with me. I'll stop at a convenience store for a Coke and a pack of cheese crackers. As soon as I put them on the counter, the clerk will inevitably say, "Anything else, hon?"

I'm almost tempted to say, "Yeah, sweet pea. Throw in one of them lottery tickets, too."

Like Obama in Detroit, the clerk at the gas station doesn't mean to be offensive. Just the opposite, in fact. They're just trying to be nice, which isn't a bad thing.

And, in the right situation, I don't mind being called "sweetie" or "honey." The problem is that I only want those terms of endearment used by people I am actually endeared to, and that generally doesn't include waitresses and clerks.

So if you're not actually related to me by blood or marriage - or if you've only known me for the 15 seconds I've been standing at your register - I'd just as soon you pick something else to call me.

In the workplace - or on the campaign trail - the use of such terms is even more problematic. While the intent behind using terms like "sweetie" might be good, it can still present issues for someone who's trying to become the leaders of the free world.

Imagine Obama during his first state dinner with Queen Elizabeth II.

"Hey, queenie baby. That's a rockin' tiara you've got there."

And as president, Obama would need to work closely with Congress in order to get his agenda passed. He might have problems during meetings on Capitol Hill with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

"Excuse me, dollface, but when do you think we'll get around to pulling our troops out of Iraq?"

What we should all learn from this incident is that it is up to each person to decide whether such terms of endearment offends us, and if they do, we should make it clear we are uncomfortable.

Likewise, we shouldn't assume the person's intentions are bad. We don't need to police spontaneity. People need to be themselves, and we don't need to assume the worst every time we hear such words used.

I hope none of you think I'm lecturing you today. I just want to do my part to help you understand the nuances of our language and find ways to avoid offending anyone unnecessarily.

I can't help myself. I'm a real sweetie.

Mitch Clarke is executive editor of The Times. His column appears Sundays in The Times. Read previous columns at gainesvilletimes.com. Originally published May 18, 2008.